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iphone 5

I know everybody is waiting for the most talked about, going-to-wow your brain and imagination Iphone 5.

This is a long pregancy to all the apple-lites out there. Iphone 4, my elder brother was born on 15 Jun 2010. There was much drama before he was born. Apparantly one of the nurse in the hospital lost him and placed him on a bar table, leading to reports of his birth before his official baptism. Photos of him was splashed all over and everybody was screaming “Iphone 4!” and cried over his beauty.

It had been 1 year and 3 months since his birth. Everybody is urging my dad Steve for his next baby. Unfortunately he is ill, and perhaps that is one of the reason of my delayed birth.

It is really quite long, for a giraffe (of a gestation period of 435 days) and Rhinocerous (of a gestation period of 450 days) would have been born. However, the muched talked about successor to Iphone 4 is still in gestation.

Everybody thinks i will be called Iphone 5, for afterall, it should be 3,4 then 5.

But i am not ready for a total transformation. I am not as sleek as brother 4, who went on a slimmer look, better battery life and faster navigation than brother 3. However daddy steve says it is better that i came out first, before he is too sick to ever see me, even that means sacrificing me to be in a better shape.

Nevertheless, he still embedded me with a few features so that at least i will feel almighty sitting next to my brother Iphone 4.

First, he gave me an “intelligent assistant”. I know what he means, that i will be well taken care off even if he is long gone. What i don’t understand is that this supposedly smart assistant actually has a name called “silly” or SiRi if you want it officially. My dad says that she is very capable, she is gonna help me arrange meeting, send messages and remind me when is my next birthday. All i need to do is shout “SiRi” and she will do the job. There will be no language barrier, dad assures me. “She is well versed in 180 languages. She will understand you” In fact she is not going to be a docile domestic worker. “she is going to talk back to you” daddy smiles ” I am sure you two are going to have a nice conversation.”

Then he shows me a video of a model running around asking SiRi to do some jobs. But you know everybody tries to show their best in job interviews, hence i am not so sure if she is really like how she claims to be in the video. Moreover i don’t jog a lot and i don’t speak like the man in the video so i am not so sure if we can get along well. Afterall, if she is so capable why is she called silly? I got a feeling that if she don’t get things done, my dad will pat gently on my head and say “Son, come on. She is really doing a great job already. After all she is not silly for nothing.”

In fact, dad is so proud that he found me this great assistant (luckily not wife) that he called me Iphone S. Initially i though he mis write 5 as an S (as they are quite similar). Maybe he was going to call me 5, but then SiRi probably wow him so much that he lost his mind and decides to call me Iphone S. I really hope SiRi is going to do her job as promise so i won’t be known as Iphone Silly eventually.

Next, as Xmas is just around the corner, dad gave me another present. He decides to put me on iOS 5 and some Dual core A5 chips.  According to my mum, iOS5 is there to give SiRi all the necessary support. After all an Iphone always command a lot of attention and it is easy for an assistant to break down and suffers from depression. iOS 5, whispers my mum, is “one of the world’s most advanced and easiest to use mobile operation system” . iOS5 has over 200 features to give SiRi the backend support-a notification center, a news stand, game center and a message system to connect me with my fellow iphone, ipad and itouch family members. Dual core A5 chips is no ordinary apple chips. Trained in the battle fields at afghanisan, Dual core A5 chips is so powerful that it is terrorist-proof. It can launch apps, games and browsing the web as fast as he slash the throat of terrorist. Woosh.

Perhaps to console me for the not so slick name of Iphone 4S as i will be living forever in the shadows of brother Iphone 4, dad gave me a special pair of eyes. As you all know, Iphone members only has one eye. It is our genetic makeup, it seems. Knowing how much we yearn to have 2 eyes like what most people has, dad more than makes up for it by giving me the most exceptional retinal and optic lens. Its vision is even more exceptional than one with 2 or 3 eyes, dad told me. it is so good that illusions will appear as reality. With my new optic lens and retinal, i will have the ” you-can’t-believe-it-is-on-a-phone-camera”. It simply means what i will capture is going to be exactly what you have seen. In fact it is going to be so sharp that it will probably capture things you didn’t even noticed.

While my servants are busy wrapping me in the white classic iphone cases for delivery at 8.00am on Oct 14 2011. Click here to get the smart, slick and SiRi Iphone 4S (64GB, SIM lock free). iconI am not called 4s for nothing.

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